Who remembers when they were in primary school? Most of us had a bestfriend and back then you thought that that person would be your bestfriend for the rest of your life. Secondary school was a bit different because in a lot of cases the person you were close friends with in Year 7 wasn’t the same person you were close with by the time you reached Year 11. Even when you leave Year 11 and go into sixth form, the people you carry over will not be a lot, I promise you. Starting university now, I’m wondering which of my friends will remain my friends for the duration of my three year degree. I know which ones I want to remain friends with, but whether that will be the reality is yet to be seen.
The point I’m trying to make is that as much as we may try and have a tight circle of friends or maintain the same friends for a long period of time, the people who actually manage to achieve this are in the minority. Our friends change over time and continue to change because we do. As people we are constantly changing, for better or for worse, and our friends reflect that. Ever heard the saying “you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep”? Never a truer word has been spoken.
So why do we keep trying to keep lasting friendships when its often the ones closest to us that let us down the hardest? The truth is, I don’t know. I’m only eighteen, I DON’T HAVE THE ANSWERS. Maybe it’s because we like the idea of having someone that won’t let us down, that we can rely on no matter what. For some people that’s their family, but not everyone can or wants to talk to their family about certain topics/situations. For other people its their partners. Even people that say they’re “lone wolves” or that they “don’t need anyone” don’t feel like that 24/7. It just takes a longer period of time for someone to get close to them, or before they let someone get close to them. Even years. At the end of the day, everybody likes the feeling of having somebody, its human nature.
Bob Marley once said “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.’. Because even though your best/closest friend may not be your bestfriend forever, something that WILL always be there are the memories you share. We each learn something from all of our friends, whether its traits we aspire to gain, or vices we know we don’t want, we can all learn something from eachother. Our friends help shape the person we are, and we help shape the person they are. Your friends are supposed to help you get better and grow and move forward, but sometimes they can’t move forward with you. I want to grow WITH and CLOSER to all my friends, not apart, but I realise that that may not always be possible. But just because the end might come in a friendship, the memories and lessons learned is something that consciously or subconsciously will live with us forever.